Jenn has always taken such good care of me, making my favorite meals, bringing me coffee on the weekends, and splitting up the cleaning around the house. We both always did our share of chores, but Jenn took extra steps to make me feel special. As she got sicker, she was unable to do some of those things that she loved doing and that I had grown accustomed to. I am a KEPT LADY! I understood she was not herself and I was more worried than anything else and I began to get more fearful as she started losing her ability to walk and function like herself. Soon she was unable to cook at all or clean up around the house and I found myself doing everything. I realize I sound like a spoiled baby so let me be clear. I NEVER minded doing all of the chores and taking care of her but I was also scared. In addition to my whole world changing, my person who normally gets me through scary times was just as scared as me. Eventually, right before surgery, Jenn could barely move from her chair or feed herself. She couldn’t take showers without assistance and needed my help to do everything. We were terrified! In addition to all of that, I was working a full-time job and taking care of the house and the yard. I think that this would have all been manageable if not for my complete inability to ask for help. I have a family that would have bent over backwards to help me. All I had to do was ask but I hate being a bother, so I didn’t. I convinced myself that as soon as surgery was over, she would be back to new and I could deal with it all for a little bit longer. As we began meeting with the doctors and the surgeon it became clear we still had a long road ahead of us. Luckily, despite my protests, Jenn began asking our family and friends for help. My sisters immediately rushed in and began helping with meals and pre-surgery house care stuff. My mom came over and helped me give Jenn a spa night because I NEEDED Jenn in good spirits because I needed her emotional support. Again, I am writing this out and feeling like a selfish cry baby, but it is what it is. I WAS TOLD TO WRITE WHAT I WENT THROUGH! QUIT JUDGING ME!!! LOL! We also had some of my stepson’s friends come to mow our grass. This was a huge burden off of me. I hated to ask for that and I didn’t, Jenn did, obviously, but as soon as she told me they would be happy to help I was relieved and felt silly for worrying about being a burden. Everyone stepped in and made it to where I could just focus on Jenn After surgery, my family, friends, and co-workers all stepped up. Some without being asked. My mom had our house cleaned, my co-workers covered my on-call shifts, my family brought food, my neighbor brought flowers!!! The whole point is I could have made things easier on myself and as a result, easier on Jenn if I had just asked for help. Have I learned my lesson? No…I will behave the same way in the future because I am the worst but it’s fine. For those of you still reading, I am much better now. I know you all probably got super concerned for all of my hardships (STOP JUDGING MY SELFISHNESS!!), but I made it to the other side. Things have been consistently improving. Jenn is back to making tasty meals and we are mostly splitting the chores again! On a serious note, I am not as worried as I was before. I have my person back and while she still has a long way to go, we are mostly us again.
